Listen To Your Body | Why I'm No Longer Vegan


This is quite a tricky post for me to write, without being judged or hated by a few people out there. But please give me a chance. Before I start I just want to state I have nothing against Vegans or Veganism, my beliefs and views will always be strong and still a lot of meals are Vegan. And for some people Veganism is brilliant and is a great way to help recovery. I cannot deny that. But for myself? Something has changed a little... 

A few people have asked for me to talk a bit about this, so here it goes. 

When I first stopped eating meat, or reducing my meat intake, I actually never wanted a label. It was just the way I ate, nothing more to it. At the time the less meat I ate actually really helped my digestion issues, as I suffer with really bad IBS. It wasn't long till I realised that I wasn't eating meat anymore and didn't actually crave it. It's just became apparent I was 'vegetarian'. It was never really a thing about 'following trends' or doing what everyone else was doing but simply because my body responded really well to it. It also gave me a love for food I had never had, getting creative and making exciting new recipes. 

I was still eating the occasional cheese and dairy product however due to my IBS they really don't suit me, but I just knew if I had them my tummy might suffer, haha. And eggs make me poorly, so I rarely ate them. My diet involves a lot of fruit and veggies (I'm a veggie freak!), plenty of feel good whole grains and I eat mainly natural foods! I love plant based food! Meaning my transition to Veganism wasn't that hard. I just had to become more aware of accidental non-vegan products I was using. As I say, it really wasn't that hard. I was basically already 'vegan' but without the label. But things changed a little once I branded myself, so to speak. 

Obviously my diet hadn't changed that much, so at the beginning the whole idea of being 'Vegan', was a little bit exciting and easy. It was a whole new community that I felt part of, full of pretty smoothie bowls and new, optimal health, yogis and crazy raw, desserts. Especially over social media. I didn't feel restricted, I felt great, content and satisfied. I know a lot about food so I knew I was getting enough protein, fats and carbs and actually had a very balanced diet. So on the whole terms of me following a Vegan diet, that wasn't the issue.

Lets cut a long story short, something very recently happened which I didn't expect and couldn't quite get my head around. My body began to talk to me. I began to eyeball up peoples fish at dinner or chicken at lunch, I began getting cravings I hadn't had for way over a year. I tried to shut them out thinking it was just 'silly'. I was annoyed at myself for even having these thoughts. I'm Vegan. I'd labelled myself Vegan. Right? I couldn't come back from this. I was actually scared.

Not realising at the time but my moods were all over the place, I was losing interest in food again, binging like there was no tomorrow, energy levels were dropping, I was over trained, becoming picky with food. My digestion was awful again which was only making me bloated 24/7 and I was in a lot of pain. I felt miserable.

Then one day something hit me. I was very casually browsing in Boots grabbing some tan before heading home for lunch. I passed the food section, and lying there was some fish sushi. I instantly wanted it but straight away told myself  'NO, you CAN'T'. I walked away and went home. It was that walk home, I knew something was wrong.

I was developing another issue with food. I suddenly felt very restricted but not in a good way. I didn't feel right. Now I truly understand, that many of you will agree and many won't but the point is I wasn't enjoying my journey with food anymore. I just couldn't wait any longer to eat fish again, so I ate it.

For a girl who basically walked around with Vegan tattooed on her head. This was crazy.

But you know what? The world is still turning.

Unlike when I decided to label myself 'Vegan', I didn't go and tell the whole world, I didn't make a big fuss because that was the whole point. LABELS. I just ate it because I wanted to simply let go. I wanted to let go of the hold I felt like Veganism had on me.

 I feel SO much better for it. My body is thriving off lots of good, nutritious healthy foods again with lots of variation! I eat mainly plant based with fresh produce, grains and legumes but I have a little bit of everything I crave or need to fuel my body. Whether that be a little bit of fish or chicken in my diet here and there. I can't eat eggs or dairy as they make me want to hurl over in pain, so I try to stay away from them anyway. But I don't want the awful guilt piled on top of me if I accidentally eat something with a little bit of dairy or egg in it.

I don't feel the need to please anyone with the foods I'm eating or not eating anymore. I don't feel that I have to prove anything to anyone. I don't feel pressured to follow these rules or what I should and shouldn't eat. I can eat some vegan meals. I can still have pretty smoothie bowls. I can eat some fish. I can take a mouthful of ice cream because it's delicious! I can still love raw brownies! I can drink green smoothies! I can enjoy chickpeas and legumes just as much as before sometimes roasted on soup sometimes served with a nice salad! Or I can enjoy the roast turkey dinner or sometimes with a nut roast, when I fancy. It's important to know you can be healthy and balanced with a whole range of food.

Stop creating this label for yourself if you don't want it. Own your body, and the way it feels. Eat fresh. feel good foods in the choices you love. You should never, ever feel shame for that.

I don't want this trap any longer. Nor do I want to rest of the world to follow my beliefs. Basically, do you. Do what suits you and listen to your body.

My point is - We change, our bodies change our mind changes, and I changed.

 I had to respect that and I am so glad I did.

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