Sunday, 7 August 2016

What Actually Makes You Happy...

Ask yourself what truly makes you happy?

 Or more likely what are you chasing for which you think will make you happy?

 Money, health, success, love, a new body? Or maybe you're after a better car, a bigger house, a new pair of kicks, longer hair?

It's so easy to establish and say what will or could make us happy. One of the biggest obstacles we face is happiness and identifying what truly makes us happy. It should be easy really, don't you think?  Yet so many of us seem to struggle and some of us feel selfish when we are actually happy, like we're in the wrong. Many of us fall into the trap of believing we'll be happy when we reach a point where our lives or selves look the way we think they should or are the way we want them to be. We find it hard to discover what we love, establish love for ourselves and find what truly brings us joy. 

For years and years I've believed reaching certain points would instantly make me happy or happier...

 When I was 7 I thought a brand new pencil case would make me happy but I soon got bored and wanted a new one. When I was 10 I thought having a best friend would make me happier but at that age you have a new one every week. When I was 13 I thought if I lost some weight, I'd be noticed by boys, oh and i'd be happy. When I was 15 I thought if I had a gap between my thighs I'd finally be 'petite' and I'd be happy. When I was 17 I thought someone else could bring me happiness and forgot about loving myself. And now the truth is, despite me wanting to reach these points such as a flatter tummy, bigger muscles, better weather, more money, love, success whatever it may be, they don't actually make me happy. Oh and I can confirm that when I found that gap between my thighs, it made me far from happy. 

It takes a lot to come to identify what you're truly happy and passionate about. And no ones happiness will ever be the same. Everyone's definitions and ideas are completely different. But the truth is happiness isn't due to circumstance - which in fact is brilliant news!!! Because this means in order to feel a certain way we don't have to spend loads of time controlling the world around us and waiting for things to be perfect. Instead lets do something, lets choose happiness in the moment. When you do that something amazing happens... You can start to realise what actually makes you happy. 

In work you may dislike your job however enjoy talking to clients or seeing your colleagues everyday. In your personal life do you love spending time with your family or going for long walks by the beach. Maybe you find love from your animals, children or friends. Maybe you have certain hobbies and passions which bring you joy such as running, dancing, painting, baking, gardening! Or maybe you love that time you have to yourself in the morning sipping your awakening coffee or binge watching your favourite TV series. Maybe you're not too keen on your legs but you love your eyes or you hate wearing dresses but can pull off killer gym leggings (I know the feeling, haha). There are so many things around us that don't have to be altered or changed that bring us true joy and whatever it may be enjoy it! 

If you asked me now? I know where my passions lie and the things I love. I love cuddles with my dog Beauty, I love a sweaty session in the gym, I'm passionate in helping other people achieve their goals, I adore spending time with my sister, binge watching Big Brother, drinking iced coffee 24/7 and believe it or not being confident actually brings me so much happiness. It's allowed me to love myself and help others love me too. And rather than constantly wishing I could change this or change that, I've accepted my life and my body and with that comes happiness. Trust me.  

So ask yourself again? What truly makes you happy? Because I can assure you it wont be that 'goal weight', the 'big pay check' or your 'new boyfriend'.