Thursday, 3 January 2019

Maybe... it is New Year, New Me.

It feels strange to be sat here actually writing out a blog post. It's been a while you could say. Yet, seen as we are 3 days into 2019, I thought I should maybe write something.

Happy New Year by the way, I mean lets start with that, probably should. I think I say this every year but I am not the biggest fan of New Year. I feel like there is a lot of pressure in that you are meant to feel good and wipe away the bad when in reality that's not always the case whether it's the 31st of December or 1st of January. Plus, why wait till a new year to set some goals or supposedly get your life together, we can do that any time right?

Anyway I wasn't here to come back a negative Annie. I actually wanted to bring back some positivity because yes, I am slowly but surely going to get back into blogging.
I miss it yanno, finally.

For the past 3 months, I have completely fallen out of love with writing, bloggings, the online world. Basically everything I have been doing my whole life. It's like a bizarre relationship where it's the one thing I'm in love with yet sometimes things become dry and boring and you don't know how to spice it up. You take time away and it either clicks within you or you move on.

So, what can I actually update you on, I feel so much has happened and as you can see by the title the irony is I am kinda of a new me. I feel like the past 4 months have changed me as a person so much. I have let go of a lot, I have moved on a lot and I feel like I'm starting a life I want to make rather than a past I was trying to heal. One thing I learned at the end of 2018 was you cannot change the past but you can create the future. You have the power to lead yourself down somewhere regardless of what has happened to you.

What I love about myself now, is I have realised life isn't meant the be all figured out, it's a beautiful journey of figuring out. Life isn't all about perfection and routines. Life isn't about having the perfect body or being liked by everyone. Life is so much more than the things tying you down. If something is making you unhappy then change it the best you can. if a person is bringing you down, let them know, work at it or move on. If you find yourself in a place you are miserable don't settle for less. Enjoy the confusion that is life. Cry, smile, laugh, dance, slob out, sing, shout, scream, hate, love and live.

That's my one goal for these next upcoming months. To simply live. Whether that involves heartbreak or happiness, crying or laughter. To let go of the pressure. To move but rest when I need it. To nourish my body but nourish my mind. To work hard but take time out. To put effort into those who deserve it and let go of those brining me down. To always put me first.

So, since you last saw me, yes I am a new me. Yet still the same girl trying to spread her message in hope just to save one person. This year things are changing, so watch this space.